Cities, Cities. You, you.
Finally, finally, my heart can be still! I have figured out why I love cities so, and I am no longer apologetic; au contraire, I am radiant.
Pieces of my soul have long tried to suppress my fancy of all that is fancy, to deny my unexpressed desire for anything remotely deluxe… Because for the most part, I am a small town girl, and proud of it. Always have been and always will be : a little lady who craves the freedom of wide open country roads and the thrill of isolated mountaintops, not the bustle of busy boulevards. A lass who longs for the introversion found on desolate beaches walked alone, content with pondering philosophy while hidden in the seclusion of deep dark forests, and finding solace within the gems of silence while traipsing the deserts that coined the term “deserted.” Yes, as a young woman I repeatedly shut down my own inklings and twinklings of interest in the bright lights, despite the fact that there was indeed something about them that gave me butterflies. Since I tasted the success dancing on the breezes of New York City at age 14, my appetite was whetted, but I satisfied my thirst not! Love for the bush & love for the rush are as mutually exclusive as it can get, I convinced myself. Like a hippie on Wall Street, such an oxymoronic moron as that cannot actually exist, right?
But she can, I can, I have realized now, and the answer is nothing of which to be ashamed! It is rather something to embrace, because it stems from LOVE – not greed, as I had feared. Not ambition, as could be misconstrued and looked down upon. Not a desire to abandon that from which I came and that to which I belong. But pure, unadulterated love, something everyone on this earth can understand.
For the culprit of my city-loving is YOU. You, people. I LOVE YOU, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! I love you so much. I will forever scream my love for you and travel to cities to be near you. From the top of the Eiffel Tower to the edge of the desolate seashores. From anywhere and from everywhere. How didn't I realize?
I love your conversations that I hear tidbits of everywhere around me, in your languages that I do and don't understand. How many of you surround me in cities refreshes my sense of life, how you all formed to be so vastly different is incredible. I love how I can sense your feelings despite not at all understanding your words; how you express yourself through your body movements and the way you wear your faces. I love you who are locals and you who are tourists, I love how you love where you are… No matter where it is, no matter why you do.
I love your eyes, whatever it is they see – because whether you like that which you are looking or not, they are the keys to your soul, and thus to all souls. I love your eyes' kindness when extending help to a fellow man, their surprise and gratitude when you receive such help, their interest when you gaze at someone or something that is outside the course of your everyday. I love how they sparkle when you speak of things known and loved. I love them even when what they’re saying is “I don’t like” or “I don’t understand” because it teaches me … Teaches me that, among other things, almost nothing is to be taken personally. Every instance, every glance of every sort, is a chance for all parties to grow.
I love buildings that have been created and visited and lived in by you. Full of the energies of so many of your experiences, with meanings too vast to imagine, let alone comprehend. I love the trees that so many of you have gazed upon and breathed in, the flowers and gardens so many of you have admired and been inspired to write love songs about your beloveds by. I love stone walls built by you who knows when, cobblestone streets and sidewalks that your feet, on the way to important life changing events, have walked and run and biked across.
I love your families and how you raise them, and how you yourselves are raised. Watching your families lead each other through life is so beautiful, whether horseplay among kids or leading your elders. I love your animals and how they look like you, how you walk them and whose butts you let them smell. I love watching you and your friends, you and your romantic partners, you and your coworkers as you have the experiences that shape your life.
I love your laughs, I love your clothes, I love your music even if I can only hear it through the way you bob your head or slightly shake your bum. I love the colors of your hair and the shapes of your noses and your moles, your tattoos, your scars. I love everything that makes you who you are, because you are so, so beautiful.
And wherever you are, beauty is. Cities are full of you, so full of beauty they must be. Yes, lands that are so precious have been destroyed to make way for cities. But now these places have so much to offer if only we look, and it’s because of the people that came before us that we may. May you forever be paving the way for those that come next, with your eyes and vibes and art and love!!! Because you are a teacher, and you are a lover, and you are loved.
I love what you people do, and I love how and why you do it, save the most deadly and despicable things; there's always something to it. The things you do are an extension of you, of the you that is longing to be heard - to remain immortal you spread your love, and the way you do is superb. I love you when you jump in puddles and climb on trees, I love you when you ride your bike with no hands and pedal with your knees. I love what you take pictures of, I love the way you walk; the way you hold your child's hand, the way you blush when you talk. There is something to learn from each of you, however young or old you are; wherever it is that you come from, however near or far. Through watching you I learn from you, and you can learn from me; and this will remain true, no matter who you or I decide to be.
Thank you for being YOU; now I know why I love to be me. I will forever scour cities to find you before retreating to the desolate sea. For I can have no life or love without you, any more than I can have them without me.
Yo soy siempre contento y perdido in el momento contigo y el universo… (I am always happy and lost in the moment with you and the universe…)